I wanted to write about pathology because I believe if you understand your family pathology, than you have a better chance to live a happy successful life. Regardless, of what you may or may have not received as a child. As adults, we are all always on stage in front of children.
Pathology is this study of the essential nature of disEASES and especially the structural and functional changes produced by them. Pathologies in ‘general’ come directly from your family. Whether it is a thought, feeling, action, or disease.
Above is a general definition, of what I understand pathology to be. I would like to explore pathology, as it relates to children. Parents may get angry or frustrated with their children, when they do not do what you want them to do. Yet children, only know right from wrong in their informative years, with the tools that parents or role models have given them. In theory ,that sounds nice, right? Children learn by example and if the correct example is not set “then, you reap what you sow”? I believe that parents get angry with their children, sometimes for their decisions. Is it really about the decisions that a child makes that causes a parent to get frustrated with their child? Or is the decision that the child makes, that causes a parent to look at themselves, that gets them frustrated? I am not a parent, however, I have to believe that parents at one point or another have realized that their children are a direct byproduct of what they created. I also believe that most parents want more for their children than what they were given. That is human nature, right?
It is so easy for a mother and father to look at their child and say, I wish you could have done this differently, I wish that you would have ended up this way, I wish that you could have been better than me. However, flip the coin and it is just as easy for a mother and father to look at their child and say I am proud you. Yet, in theory children are a direct byproduct of what their parents and role models had to offer them. Guilt and shame will never change the outcome of any human being, if anything, guilt and shame is an excuse for child to remain sick in a pathology that has been created for them. So I ask the question, where do children get the point in life, where they stop blaming their parents for their problems?
As an adult, it up to human beings to decided what is right and wrong. It is up to humans to decide what makes them happy and what does not them happy. It is up to humans to decided whether or not they want to repeat the “mistakes of their past,” or what examples their parents or role models have set before them.
I believe, that some children are blessed with parents that are unbroken from day one. These parents spend their whole lives looking for their child’s best interest instead of theirs. When you reach a certain age, you can no longer call yourself a victim of your past. Unless, of course you maybe so broken from your past, that you cannot understand, what is to live a happy or sad life. Yet, your past does not define you but it your past that is a direct reflection of the current life that you are living, at least that is what I have been told. I don’t know if I agree with that statement.
When I reached a certain age, I realize that the only person I had to blame for my problems (woes) was myself. Not my parents. Yet, if I dig deep regarding pathology as it relates to children, it is the parents that raised the children to be or what they understand life to be. However, God gives us freewill and we can’t blame our parents or role models for the lives we are living today. I guess, that complicates the theory of pathology as it relates to children. This is where faith and having faith from your parents or role models can make all the difference in adult life. It was not until I was older, and my parents were older and wiser that I aspired to be them. No disrespect mom and dad. I think both of them would agree with this statement as it relates to their own parents.
My parents did the best for me, with what was given to them. I personally, think they both did a great job. In my situation, I would not be doing myself a justice or my parents justice by living the same life that was set out before them. I have a heavenly father and both my parents made sure that I had a clear understanding of God, if it were not for my parents, it may have taken a lot longer to form my connection with my heavenly father.
When you are born, you don’t get to choose your parents. Our earthly parents, are born, just like us, with imperfections and I believe wholeheartedly that all parents strive to do the best they can do. I can’t expect much out my earthly parents. However, I have never personally, met a parent that does not want their children to experience and do better than they experienced.
With every generation that passes, we can only hope they will proceed us. I can’t even begin to tell you the stories of how both of my earthly parents were raised and how both of them, wish more for me, than their parents were able to wish for them.
I do not have children, so I do not know what goes through the minds of parents, but I do know that I that I am loved by many sets of parents. I may not be a parent but I am a role model to my sister’s children. Some children don’t ever get to met their earthly parents, I am grateful that today I have both of them as living examples of faith in my life.
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